COMING SOON…ISH!
That’s right! After months of working behind the scenes, I will be unveiling a new website on Monday, September 19th at noon!
This page will continue to be available. The new website will be posted here and will have links to go back to posts on this page.
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Thanks everyone!
A year later…
When yesterday started out, it was a mess. I was groggy and didn’t want to do my hair. My clothes didn’t dry completely in the dryer so my shirt was still damp. Traffic was deceiving and made me late even when I was on course to be early. While stopped at a light, I remembered that it was Wednesday and that meant I would be home extra late after kickboxing class. Great, just great. Maybe I can use this irritation as motivation later.
I got to work and made my energy drink – which took forever to kick in – and was bombarded with work requests that were overwhelming at best. I’m distracted 90% of my day and look for any excuse to get away from my desk aka responsibilities. I listen to podcasts and Spotify to silence the constant keyboard tapping and copy machine noises that flutter throughout the office; the only sounds in our office.
Why am I complaining like this? Because if I keep it inside, I will actually go insane – my doctor told me so. On the bright side, I know that it won’t last forever.
You see, yesterday just happened to be my one year anniversary with the law firm. When I accepted this job, I was lost and desperate. I had followed my dreams and they crashed and burned on the banks of the Youghiogheny River. A year ago, all I wanted was something that would pay me enough to not need to borrow money from my mom and give me decent benefits. Now, I’m realizing that I sold my soul – aka my creative spirit – all for a 401k and a good dental plan.
My point is that everyone needs an outlet. I searched for months about a year ago to find mine. My 9-5 desk job kept me from doing a lot of things that I loved: I was slacking in the writing department and this blog suffered a lot because of it. I was lucky enough that I got a hockey job last season to help with the creativity I felt struggling to escape during the week. But for a lot of people, they have a hard time finding something that can fit in to their responsibility at the workplace.
For quite a while, my outlet was this blog. However, I’ve been struggling lately because I feel like this blog is nothing more than a digital diary. What really keeps a blog going are views, shares and feedback. In my last post, I sheepishly requested those and still do.
I’m here to tell you to keep looking. Your inner creative wonder will thank you. Sometimes your outlet can depend on the season, in which case it’s good to have two or three. Whether its sports or art or another hobby that makes you happy – even if only for a few minutes a day – make sure you find your outlet and nurture it to the best of your ability. When you’re sitting at your desk on Wednesday afternoon, staring blankly and thinking of what euphoria you’ll experience when you walk out of the office, remember to make time for the things that make you happy once you’re out of the confines of a 9-5 job.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not complaining about having a steady job at all. But I am saying that it takes a lot of determination and planning to keep balance in life. Don’t give up – it will be entirely worth it.
This weekend, I’m working with some designers and photographers to brainstorm a new look for this blog. Make sure you check the last post and vote!
Wanted: Support and Feedback
Hey there!
SO MUCH going through my mind right now! I just felt like I should get it out there. So here it goes…
After some reflection and looking at the state of things, I finally looking at some new direction to go in; mainly with regard to this blog. Something I’m really lacking here is feedback. I really need the readers to comment on the posts. It doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative – any feedback is good feedback. Tell me what you want next, what you want a follow-up on, what you didn’t care about but would rather read about instead. Anything! If you’re reading this, I know that you can comment. It really helps me find the niche I need to connect with my readers.
Not to come across as a complainer or someone that doesn’t want to really work for readers and views, but it really does help – and nearly ALL bloggers do this at some point. As my long-time readers may know, this blog started as a sports (primarily hockey) blog. It then moved to a lifestyle/fitness blog, documenting my journey in kickboxing, with a little bit of healthy eating. Now it has a bit of “adulting” woes sprinkled in there.
I’ve looked at a few other blogs for inspiration. Newsflash: that’s what bloggers do. We support and feed off of one another no matter what the subject matter.
Unfortunately, as I don’t have a clear direction for myself and my own blog, I bounced around a few others looking for insight and motivation – everything from travel to photography to fitness to style and beauty. None of it really hit home for me. Yes, I take photos of my family and at hockey camps. Yes, I travel and often document those travels through the camera lens. Yes, I’m working on my fitness as Fergie suggested. Yes, I take style and beauty into consideration nearly every day – but not enough to warrant a soap box to preach off of.
So where do I go from here? I certainly don’t want to stop writing. It’s my outlet in many ways. Right now, things are in this limbo state where I’m not sure which decision is the right one, but I know the options are there. This is where I need the input and feedback. What do you think I should write about. What are the areas where you would call me for my expertise in? Should it be a mix? This blog will likely be turning into a website shortly. Once that happens, sections can be added for easier navigation between subjects.
One area I’ve kind of thought about is cooking. But to be honest, I get a lot of my recipes from The Chew, Pinterest and Chrissy Teigen. I try to be creative in the kitchen while sticking to what I know works. I’m definitely a people-pleaser in the kitchen and would gladly create a meal with ingredients I wouldn’t eat myself, but others would enjoy.
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Changing Tides = Good Signs
Oh hey!
I know, I know. It’s a broken record, but I have been so busy so far this summer that I have put this blog on the back burner. Not for long though! And I’ll explain it all as much as I can.
I have some really good news actually! I have officially started as a freelance writer for the website Thrillist.com in their Sex & Dating section. It’s definitely outside of my comfort zone and I’m really excited for that. I’ve been solely working on sports blogs – primarily hockey – for the better part of the last decade. I hope that this acts as a new platform for my writing and does not damper my shot at landing a hockey gig. After all, it will just show how well-rounded I am, right?
Another great thing that happened recently is that my girl Jenna Jones had me as a guest on her podcast, “First Lady Show” on the Detroit Sports Podcast network. She’s the amazing voice for all sports fans – not just women – in the Motor City. That being said, she admits that she doesn’t know it all when it comes to Red Wings, which is exactly why she brought me in. To hear my podcast, click here. It felt great to be back behind the mic again! Hopefully I’ll be back on another episode soon with hockey and football right around the corner.
Additionally, I had a birthday since my last post! Last year, my birthday was kind of a “do-over” of sorts. That’s because two years ago, I spent my birthday in another state with no friends and no family. In order to not sit in my apartment alone with pizza and Netflix, I took a chance and went on a Tinder date to a restaurant a few towns over. It didn’t work out, but at least I didn’t have to pay for my own birthday dinner and I got out of my house. Last year, my amazing friends and I went to Greektown in Detroit for a night of fun. What we had planned as pizza (see a theme here?) and a nightclub turned into pizza, dodging rain and basically the Olympics of people-watching. No cake? No problem. We ended up at the wonderful Astoria Bakery and I had a triple chocolate cannoli. So this year had a bit to live up to. Luckily for me, my amazing friends were there once again: Painting With A Twist (Unicorn Pegasus!?), dinner and games at Dave & Buster’s and a good round of people-watching in Royal Oak.
The point I’m trying to make is that things are getting better. If any of you use the app “TimeHop” as much as I do (daily), you can get a perspective on how things have changed, for better or worse, over the years. There are certain months where I get weary of checking the app, just because I don’t want to see the tough times I’ve had with certain things over the past few years.
The other thing that is coming up in about a month is my one year anniversary with my job. Around my birthday, I looked back at where I was in 2015 and compared it to now. Last year, I was horribly depressed. At the same time, I was happy to be out of a horrible job situation where I was unappreciated and disrespected on a regular basis. It as a rough summer as I tried to find another job that not only paid a decent wage (the salon absolutely did not), but also provided benefits and above all else – happiness. I took this job out of desperation. I had been unemployed for five miserable months where I doubted myself and my ambitions. The job market wasn’t easy to deal with – there were often times where I considered dumbing myself down on my resume. Why?
The majority of the interviews I went on resulted in the interviewer telling me I was over-qualified for the position. It’s a common problem with millennials: we’re over-qualified for the positions that are available, so we end up taking mediocre jobs just to get by. Obviously, it’s not all of us. There are some that are lucky enough to land a job in their desired industry right out of college. Notice I said “lucky” there. Yes, I understand fully that you worked hard in college and networked like a pro to get where you are now. I’m not downplaying that at all. What I am saying is that for many, it’s not that easy. The hard work in college, the networking, it just didn’t work out the same way.
This is why I’m happy that I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone a bit with the freelance gig I mentioned earlier. It’s letting me know that my writing is a valuable skill that I can use on many different platforms. Hopefully I will continue to work in hockey this coming season as well. Believe it or not, working for the team last year actually helped me keep my sanity.
I’ve changed and the image of this blog needs to reflect that.
That’s what I’ve learned recently: You have to recognize what is making you unhappy and what you can do about it. Sometimes, you just can’t control the situation and have to go with the flow. While this blog is what I turn to in order to vent and share my experiences and hopefully inspire others. I’m hoping that with the new side gig at Thrillist, I can accommodate a new website. Don’t worry, there won’t be any drastic changes or anything, but hopefully it will be easier to customize. First, I’m going to splurge on a new laptop (I’m currently working on a family member’s laptop since mine died – seriously, the motherboard is fried – while I was in Pennsylvania because that town is where all good things go to die). Working on the design and overall structure of this blog is to follow shortly. That includes new pictures, not that the ones Lacee took aren’t good enough (they’re actually some of my absolute favorites), but it’s time for an update. I’ve changed and the image of this blog needs to reflect that.
Speaking of photos, I got back into hockey photography for a hot minute last week. I went out to Kalamazoo for a few days to document the Michigan stop of Beebe Hockey Camp, put together by Western Michigan alum, Brett Beebe. It was so great to see kids working hard and learning from some of the best coaches around. It didn’t hurt that it was pushing triple digits and I spent the majority of the time at the rink, wearing a hoodie and jeans. Just being able to get away for a couple of days and have a hotel room to myself felt amazing. Unfortunately, it was only for a couple of days.
However, this Saturday (the 30th), I leave for a week-long vacation to the gorgeous Upper Peninsula with family and it is coming at the perfect time. I can’t wait to be in one of my favorite places for a week. It will give me a chance to clear my mind and recharge.
Perhaps I’ll come back with some more content to share with my loyal readers. If there’s something you’re looking for me to talk about, just let me know in the comments!
Please make sure to comment, share and like this blog here and on Facebook. It truly helps me out!
An Open Letter To The Guy That Went Back To His Ex Before Me
You’re not the only one.
I want to make sure you’re aware of that.
You probably started this behavior in high school, maybe college if you came from a good family. There were many other classmates, friends, teammates that did the same thing when it came to an ex-girlfriend. Maybe the girl did them (or you) wrong. Maybe the ex-girlfriend just couldn’t handle what you had to offer. Maybe you were both too young and were at separate places in your life.
Really, it could be anything. But eventually the relationship ended. You broke up. Things were over. You had to tell your mom what happened to that sweet girl in a way mom could understand and believe. Your friends noticed the difference; they had their buddy back. You could go out to the bar to watch the game and not have to check in or – God forbid – bring her along while she asked if there was a gluten free beer on special to go with the wings with the sauce that had the least calories possible. Things were looking good.
Eventually, you even moved on. You caught the eye of another woman, or maybe she caught yours. After some conversation over drinks, you realized that there was life after your ex. There were nice, fun people out there. This girl liked to do all the same things you did, but yet also challenged you and inspired you to try new things. She made you comfortable, but yet also willing to get out of your comfort zone – all at the same time.
Your friends noticed how happy you had become. This was a different kind of happy: not the happy you were when you had discovered your newly acquired freedom, but a happy you got by being with someone that was equally as happy. You were so excited to introduce her to your friends. You wanted her to be comfortable with your friends and vice versa. Both were very important factors in your life. You had to make sure that the two would be able to gel together.
It’s okay that you were selfish. This was your time to find what is best for you. Games weren’t in your artillery. Slowly, she started to open up to you. She wanted to be careful, because you were new to her. She didn’t want to get hurt, but that wasn’t your intention in the first place. You talked about your past and eventually, the girl before her came up. Little did you know, your friends had already brought her up. They had mentioned how much they liked this new girl over your last. She was aware of what the last girl had did to you, but that was okay. That was the past and had nothing to do with her. Your friends liked her and laughed as they spoke of how much more fun and perfect for you she was than the last girl. While comparisons were not necessary, it certainly made her feel welcomed, and as though there would be something there for the long haul.
When it was brought up, she tried to block out the past. After all, it had nothing to do with her. As long as it was in your past and this was your now, your future, things were good. She continued to enjoy her time with you. You and your friends made her happy. Her friends were happy that she was happy, just like your friends were with you.
Things were going great. There were rumblings of a future, including trips, concerts and more. After spending days and evenings with you, she would return to her own home and wonder: “does he talk about me the way her talks about her? If something were to happen and this didn’t work out, will I be her?” It hurt her to think this way. She didn’t want to be so pessimistic, but the words you and your friends spoke of your ex made her wonder if that’s how you talked about all of your exes. The anger everyone had toward her for what she did to you, to them, was inescapable. The way they praised your freedom from her when it finally ended, was mesmerizing. But she tried to ignore it, because it had nothing to do with her. She was different in many ways, so it couldn’t possibly happen to her.
And then something did happen. Suddenly, there was a chance that there wouldn’t be a future. It was not the fault of either of you. It was simply uncontrollable circumstances at their worst. The best part was that you tried. For once, she had someone that was willing to make sacrifices in hopes for the future to flourish. Compromises were presented, weighed and eventually dismissed – none for lack of trying.
Ultimately, things were forced to end. No one was particularly happy with the outcome. Many asked why a compromise failed to occur. Trips were planned, but eventually forgotten. Texts were being sent and received less and less. The worst part was that your friends would message her, saying she was missed. They mentioned how sad you were, how distant you were. Things were not the same. They wanted her to come back, but she couldn’t. It wouldn’t have been for the right reasons. It was simply impossible, which made it so much more upsetting.
Her friends were worried about her as well. She talked of you often. Her hard outer shell showed resilience against being heartbroken. She had never fully put her heart into what you had, but she was still upset. What if there were other compromises that could have been explored?
Eventually, you both moved on. You were both recovering, rediscovering what was out there. Then, all of a sudden, the girl before came back. At first, no one was happy. No one but you. Many thought that it was a rebound reaction. By going back to something you knew, things would be easier to handle. There was nothing new, nothing to be blindsided by.
Even though for months, you had spoken ill of your ex, you let her back in. You had said horrible things about her to someone it had nothing to do with, but you let her back in. You placed those words, words about another woman, in her head. Suddenly, those same words weren’t so bad to you and the girl before was back in your life. Suddenly, your friends were asking the second girl to come back because she was so much better for her than the ex you had gone back to. They wanted her back, not the ex. But it wasn’t their call; it was yours.
She’s not upset you’re not together. She’s not upset you’re with someone else.
She’s upset that for months, the words that were so passionately spoken, unprompted, turned out to be lies. For months, she thought you didn’t trust your ex. By lying to her about your ex, did you not trust her the way she trusted you? Why say awful things to her about someone you would let back into your life so easily?
Maybe you don’t hold grudges. Maybe you believe in second, third even forth chances. Maybe you’re a better person than she is when it comes to that. Maybe she tends to believe the way a person is upon the first meeting is their true self, rather than growing to learn how someone could be after some time.
Maybe your time with her meant very little. Maybe it meant more to her than it did to you. Maybe you’ll never read this. But if you do, hopefully you’ll know that the next time you “move on” from her – because there will be a next time – you shouldn’t speak ill of her to the next girl. Speaking ill of an ex doesn’t make the next girl feel better about replacing her in your life. It makes her wonder if she’ll be the next one you speak ill of. Or will there be even more after her? It makes her wonder how you truly felt about her. Did you ever truly mean the words you said when it was all ending? The talk of visiting, of continuing a friendship – was it all just for show, so you looked like a decent person?
In the end, she wonders if you ever had your ex truly out of your mind – and of your heart – the whole time she was around. While you were talking ill of your ex to your friends and to her, was it really because she had never left your mind? That’s the impression you’ve put in her mind.
You wouldn’t let someone back in your life if she had truly hurt you (and your family and friends) the way you said she had. Maybe this new girl was a test for you to see if you were truly over said ex. Maybe she was your way to test the waters. Maybe you got scared of what she had to offer and went back to what you were comfortable with, even if it meant you weren’t happy.
I hope you know that the words you said about your ex stick with her, months after the relationship ended. Those horrible things, even though they weren’t about her, showed that you can feel that way towards an ex, but turn around and run right back to her when things got scary. She will never forget what you said about another woman. It’s usually the first thing that she thinks of whenever you text her, or if something happens to pop up on social media: That you hurt her all as a test.
It’s okay to go back to an ex. You’re not the first guy to make that decision and you won’t be the last. But you shouldn’t go back to an ex you felt so strongly – in a negative way – about that you would say such horrible things about her to someone you’ve opened up to.
She doesn’t want you back. Not in a romantic way. She misses the connection you had but that will never return. Things randomly come up that remind her of you and she’ll smile, laugh and want to call or text you. But she doesn’t, because you’ve moved on to someone she thought you never would let back in – and someone that has made it impossible for you to maintain any type of connection. She misses the hopefulness she had when you said you would visit and wonders if that was even true.
She’ll move on, but in a much more mindful way than you have. She’ll be guarded for a while. It will take time for her to open up and trust again. But she’ll get through it. She’ll be a better person because of what you put her through – intentionally or unintentionally. She’ll be a better girlfriend because of what she went through with you. Maybe that will make her a better fiancée and eventually, a better wife.
Maybe you’re not sorry. Maybe you have no idea any of this even happened. Maybe you see your friends speaking ill of their exes all the time and to you, this is no different. If that’s the case, I hope you are far less cruel in your next endeavors in your love life. No girl deserves the way you treated her for something that had nothing to do with her.
April Showers bring May Stress
A woman moves to comfort a co-worker who is slumped over her desk in despair, circa 1940. (Photo by FPG/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
Oh hey. Another post nearly a month after the last. Trust me, I’m not happy about it. It’s been a whirlwind since my last post on April 14th. First, the hockey team I work for won the league championship on the 22nd. It was hands-down the most amazing experience to run out onto the ice with my best friend (the team massage therapist) and spray our boys with champagne and get tons of smelly, strong hugs while being swung around in front of over 2,000 people. I spent the rest of the weekend celebrating with staff and players before the majority of the guys left that Monday. See pics from A+D Photography by clicking here.
Photo by A+D Photography
While the whole experience was very surreal, I’m just now starting to realize our season is over. I’ve never ended a season on a “good” note. Ever since I moved from being a beat writer to a part of the game day staff, I’ve worked for teams that were never quite good enough to lift a trophy at the end of the year. The first team I worked for was in dead last place nearly all season long. We were the first to be eliminated from playoffs. The boys were unhappy, but glad to see the tumultuous season come to a close. The following year, I jumped ship and went to a team that really wanted my experience on game days – and paid me nearly twice as much. They held first place all season long, a complete 180 from the year prior. However, playoffs are playoffs for a reason. They were eliminated in round two against the second place team aka the team I had left. Aca-awkward. Fast forward a few weeks (or rewind on here to about two years ago) and that team up and left the Mitten for “greener” pastures. We all know how that turned out. If you don’t, head back to my archives.
Photo by A+D Photography
So this season was amazing to me. The guys were great all year long. It was a bit of a shift for me, working for an older, more experienced group of guys. Sometimes they still acted like toddlers and whined about the dumbest things (but don’t all men, hockey player or not?). In the end, it was all worth it to see the euphoria on their faces as we ran – yes ran – out on to the ice to celebrate with them and all of our fans. I’m definitely looking forward to next year.
Photo: The Times Herald (Jeffrey M. Smith) | Port Huron, MI
That whole ending-of-the-season engrossed my life for the past couple of weeks. I started to feel under the weather by the time my body knew that it had time to relax. Before I knew it we were hit with Mother’s Day and obviously I had to see Captain America: Civil War on opening weekend and then last weekend, I joined some friends at Motor City Comic Con to help sling some books. .
Secondly, during my new-found weekend life, I’m trying to view apartments and get a better idea of when I can move and where to. It’s been nearly as exhausting as working a triple-header weekend. A lot of disappointment, a lot of discouragement. Suddenly, my plan to move in early June has been pushed back to September. It’s just too hard to find someplace that is in my budget, a decent neighborhood but isn’t a shoe box.
SAN FRANCISCO – JULY 08: A sign advertising apartments for rent is displayed in front of an apartment complex July 8, 2009 in San Francisco, California. As the economy continues to falter, vacancy rates for U.S. apartments have spiked to a twenty two year high of 7.5 percent, just short of the record high of 7.8 percent set in 1986. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
What’s funny is that I was much more pressed for time when I got my last (first) apartment. My mom and I picked up and drove from Lapeer, MI to Connellsville, PA to a town we had never seen before and knew absolutely nothing about. We found the rink the team would be calling home, picked up a newspaper or two to see what rentals were available and looked at a grand total of SIX. In three different towns, we could only find six rentals to view. Some were houses (one much better than the other), and a few were actual complexes. We ended up with one that my grandmother – all the way back in Michigan – found online. In two days, 36 hours at most, we were able to travel 400 miles away, find apartments, book viewings and even apply. Now? I can’t even get a crappy complex on the Pontiac/Auburn Hills border to call me back about a viewing appointment.
I’m not being picky, I don’t think. Obviously, I have a budget that I need to stay within. I also know that I want certain things in the place I will be calling home for an undetermined amount of time. A private entrance is important to me, mostly because it makes it feel more like a “home” rather than a number on a door in a hallway. Having laundry in the building would be amazing but having it in the apartment would be even better. Mostly, I want a balcony/patio to solidify that I won’t be living in a closed-off box. Having a space of my own to go outside and get some fresh air, take in the view – it seems simple, right? Trying to find a place with all of those plus sticking within my budget is nearly impossible.
One of the most stressful factors has been commitment. This is not to say I’m afraid of commitment, but it is intimidating. By signing a lease, I’m committing to my lifestyle for the next 12 months. That means I’ll be this far away from friends and family for 12 months. Most importantly, it means I’m committing to my job for the next 12 months. That means a possibility of committing to being unhappy for 12 months.
I didn’t sign a contract with my new job. I’m an at-will employee, meaning anything can happen at any time. It’s a stressful industry and one I’m a rookie at (if there was something less than rookie, I’d have that title instead). We’re in a serious surge of activity right now, prepping for upcoming trials with many saying the company hasn’t been this busy in at least a decade. A few co-workers have mentioned, I’m sure in a positive way although that may not always come across clearly, that I’ve had a lot of jobs. No one likes to have a job on their resume where they held that position for a year, or less. It makes you look unstable, which isn’t good in any capacity.
To be totally honest, the vast majority of my jobs were taken out of necessity, not desire. When I got a call back from a hotel a few months after I graduated college, I wasn’t thrilled. My mom was, but I wasn’t. I was about to accept a job that didn’t require the degree I had just worked so hard for. But it was fall, the holidays were coming and I had to start focusing. It was to be a stepping stone to get me to the next job, hopefully in media somehow even within the company. What I initially thought of as a stepping stone turned in to a nearly three year-long job. Looking back, I don’t necessarily regret it. I met some amazing people that I’m still in contact with to this very day. And let’s not forget the hotel discounts I received. Lord have mercy, that saved me thousands of dollars over my tenure and I definitely miss it at times.
Hands-down, the two things that scare me the most about this whole apartment thing is the budget and the commitment. When I was at the hotel, I was making a fraction of what I make now. Sure, I went from driving 57 miles round-trip between the hotel and home to 74 miles between this job and home, but that shouldn’t be enough to completely break me financially like it is. True, I’m much more appreciated here than I was at my last job at a salon, but that wasn’t hard to beat. So what do I do to balance it all? The pay is better, the emotional abuse I faced at the salon is nonexistent here, but I’m spending far more in gas and car maintenance, more stressed out with much more expected of me.
Recently, I spoke with another gal that is apartment hunting in Oakland County as well, so I know that I’m not alone in this. Knowing I’m not alone has been a recurring theme here. When I get upset about not working in the industry I truly want to be in, my mom always reminds me that I’m not alone in the thousands of thousands of college graduates still struggling. That’s great. It doesn’t help my situation, at all, but that’s great.
Between not being alone in this struggle and being unable to balance everything, it’s been incredibly difficult. I’m trying to focus on friends and family, sticking to kickboxing (even adding more when possible), eating better and just trying to enjoy the time I do have away from work. It’s not easy. You may be asking “how is it not easy to relax?!” but trust me, it’s possible. I recently spoke with someone that asked me to take them through a standard week in my life. At the end of my spiel, he was shocked – literally, I left him with his jaw on the floor. He had no idea how I managed so much in such a small amount of time. To me, it was normal. That was my normal.
I’m now focusing (at least attempting to) on finding some balance in my everyday life. It’s hard to not get emotionally distraught while at work, because I am an emotional person at my core. It’s not only my job/my income, but huge accounts and very wealthy corporations as clients. It’s all new to me which is making it much, much more intense. I don’t want to screw it up to the point I would lose my job, but I certainly don’t want to screw anything up that it compromises our cases. Plus, I’m there for 9 hours a day total not to mention the 2+ hours driving to and from. It doesn’t help to go home and start a new batch of stress when I get home by searching for my dream job. In fact, it often makes it worse.
Please stick with me on this journey. I’m hoping to see some small changes rather soon. If there is anything you would like to share on how you find balance in your own life, please feel free to leave it in the comments.
Anticipating Double-time
I know it’s been a little bit since I last posted, but I feel as though my life has been in overdrive lately. First, the hockey team I work for was nearing the end of the regular season at my last post. Now, they’re getting ready to start the final round for the championship! It’s been a whirlwind season and I’m so excited for them!
Secondly, I lost a family member recently and I still have a hard time coping. I’m getting better, but it is a process as anyone knows. But my nights have been missing something as of late and I can’t seem to focus on writing a new post.
I’ve been staying on track with the cardio kickboxing classes and I (still) absolutely love it. Having stronger muscles in my arms and back has been beneficial when slamming my hands against the glass while cheering at the hockey games.
Here in Michigan, we’ve officially welcomed Sprinter – that’s spring meets winter for an undetermined amount of time. Just a few days ago, we had a big snow storm. It’s not the first time we’ve seen snow, sleet and ice in April and I’m positive it won’t be the last, but that doesn’t make it any better. Despite the frigid temps and nasty weather, our trainer is fully committed to making us believe we’re about to step out onto the beach in California.
I for one am super appreciative of that. I know that this process is not going to be a quick fix, which is why I’ve been so dedicated to a strict plan of eating healthy and working out on a regular basis, rather than jumping on a fad. I’m working as though I don’t have a lot of time to reach my goals, even though I do. Staying motivated and focused has been a process, but I haven’t had any moments (yet) that were so intense, I had to give up.
The Bad News and The Good News
The bad news is that yesterday, my normal day for kickboxing boot camp, I made a rookie mistake. I forgot my shoes. Of course, I didn’t remember until I left the office, and I was faced with two options: cancel tonight’s class or go shopping for new shoes with just 45 minutes before class started.
The last thing I wanted to do was buy workout shoes on a whim, without being able to really look and try any on and shop around. So, I called the gym and told them my dilemma. Luckily for me, they’re extremely understanding and cancelled my attendance, leaving me a credit for today.
So now comes the good news: I’m now going to be attending classes twice a week! Schedule permitting, I’ll now be attending on Wednesday and Thursday. I’m going to pair that with nightly walks with my pup now that it’s warmer and light out later and the floor routines that my trainer has us do in class.
My goal is to get a solid workout in 4-5 days a week, in any combination of the previously mentioned. It will be much easier to get out and workout once the weather is nicer and I hope that the commitment to the classes stays on track.
Stay tuned over the next few weeks to see how my doubled-up class schedule works out!
Apartment Hunting Woes: March 2016 Edition
Over the last 11, almost 12 months, I’ve worked really, really hard to get out of the “funk” that my previous job put – and left – me in. Lately, that funk has returned in the form of trying to find an apartment.
There are four items on my checklist each
and every time I look at an apartment. Two are far more important than the others, but I generally try to accommodate at least three. It’s something I’m taking extremely seriously and because of that, is very daunting.
Between an increased student loan payments, a cell phone bill, a car payment and paying car insurance in a state with one of the highest rates in the country, moving from the 14th ranked wealthiest county (out of 83) in Michigan to the wealthiest county (Oakland) has been taxing – both emotionally and mentally, soon to be financially.
Looking back at my time in Pennsylvania, I was paying nearly half for my two-bedroom townhouse as I would be paying here in northern Oakland County for the same or a similar dwelling. While the area I was living in (Fayette County, PA aka the third poorest county in the state) was not ideal financially or socially, the fact that I was spending less than $650 total on rent and utilities is something I would absolutely love right now.
While I would take Oakland County, MI over Fayette County, PA any day of the week, and I know the old saying of “you get what you pay for” certainly applies here. I know that there are a lot more options here than there are back home so looking for a place or a complex has never been in short supply. However, I am scared to commit for 12 months to a certain neighborhood or even a certain city if there’s a chance of switching jobs anytime within those 12 months.
I recently purchased a new mattress and in turn needed new bedding to go with it. While that is certainly nothing exciting, the event did bring up some issues that I thought I had buried away for some time, not to see the light of day for a while. I was going from store to store, looking at my options. Every so often, I would catch myself saying “when I get my apartment” or “once I have my own place again” whenever I saw something that would look great in my home.
When I come home from work, even straight home with no stops at the gym or the grocery store and with decent weather during my commute, I’m walking in so late, that I miss the evening news, barely have time to make dinner before watching a TV show or two and getting ready for bed, all to do the same thing the next day. I know the whole “rat race” term applies here, but that’s not the part I’m concerned with. The part I’m concerned with is having little to no time to devote to socializing or even basic house work. No time to unwind after work and enjoy the evening. The next morning, I’m up three hours before I’m supposed to even be at work, fighting traffic for over an hour just on the commute to work, sometimes an hour and a half to two hours to get home.
Having an apartment within 30 minutes of the office I’m at, with the right number of needs met, may make it so that when I do get home, I’m much more relaxed and thus, happier. It seems like such a simple request: to be able to come home from work at a reasonable hour, have time to make dinner, be comfortable and perhaps even social – all with an ample amount of down time.
I hate this feeling that I’ve been having, where my days seem to last just a few hours. With a normal 8-hour work day that so many other functioning adults have, how am I struggling for a decent amount of “me” time? If I’m going to be this worn down at the end of the day, shouldn’t I at least be happy during the 8 hours I spend staring at a computer monitor?
(Grown up) Snow Day Ramblings
As I write this, I’m sitting at home on what I’ve deemed a “personal snow day” – surrounded by 14″ of heavy, wet snow and with no energy to build a snowman and no snowmobile to take to Taco Bell, writing was the next option. Here are my thoughts this week…
The drive from my office job to my game night job is treacherous – the heavy traffic on M-59 to I-94, the potholes (Pure Michigan), the million and one stop lights… – and I have to pass the time somehow. I usually take that time (at least an hour on a good day), to catch up on podcasts that have built up on my phone. Last week, both of my drives were spent fielding phone calls. I had been pressing for weeks, even months for these phone calls and now I’m suddenly flooded with them.
See, when I was in college, I was told that my university had an outstanding career assistance program, dedicated to helping soon-to-be and recent grads land the career they had spent the last four years working toward. Unfortunately, that wasn’t all it was hyped up to be. In fact, the alumni relations department for my campus is practically non-existent. I suppose I was naive in thinking that a department would be tasked with helping me find a job. I mean, that’s pretty much my sole responsibility upon graduation (and figuring out how the hell my student loans got so damn high).
So years later, as I’m still struggling to find the job that I feel is right for me, nurturing my creative side, utilizing my skills and providing me with an adequate income, all while seeing people (that were incoming freshmen when I walked across that commencement stage) landing pretty damn good jobs, I’m sitting here thinking “what just happened?!” and “why not me?!” I had worked so hard in college toward a career and industry I am feverishly passionate about and despite numerous set-backs, I am still passionate about. So why, when hundreds of applications and resumes that I sent went seemingly unnoticed, couldn’t I turn to the department within my college campus to help guide me? What had I done wrong?
I reached out relentlessly to the alumni association through the main campus. After dozens of emails and a few more phone calls, I was met with a harsh reality: that’s just not something the alumni association does.
Unfortunately, I had very few options left. My two mentors during my internship in college had moved on to much bigger and brighter things. I felt horrible as I sheepishly sent them emails with an “update” on my life. They were still supportive, but I can’t just expect them to snap their fingers and *poof* a job appears.
So after a few phone calls and emails, I was finally able to talk to a career coach and a former “boss” that helped me with networking. The career coach suggested I revise my resume and get new headshots and videos posted. Unfortunately, those both cost money (which I’m not exactly swimming in) and time (which I don’t have a ton to devote). My former “boss” – and I put that in quotes because he hated being called my boss but I reported directly to him, so… deal with it – advised me to branch out a bit more. For months, I’ve heard “have you thought of sales?” and I have to hold back my vomit. Not because sales people are disgusting, but because I know that I wouldn’t want to do it. Before you start calling me a snob, know that it’s because I recognize that there are truly born salesmen: people that can sell sand to the desert. I know that it takes a certain bit of natural talent to be a good salesperson. I also know that I do not have that talent. At all. I’m a people person, sure, but I cannot push something on someone if they say no more than once. But, I’m still taking his advice and looking at different job opportunities I wouldn’t have looked at a year ago.
The hardest part about asking for help has been explaining to people why I’m still looking. To most people, having a job with this salary and benefits seems like a great position to be in. A lot of people would be happy with what I have now, so why am I so unhappy?
I truly feel that being passionate about your job leads to being happy at your job.
I’ve worked in plenty of places where I was not happy. Most recently, the job I held between November 2014 and March 2015 – it was a depressing place where I surrounded by vile, negative people. It was incredibly unhealthy and I wanted to make sure I was never put in that position again.
NEW YORK – MARCH 20: People mingle with employers March 20, 2009 at the City University of New York (CUNY) Job Fair in New York City. The fair, which was open to CUNY students and graduates, featured dozens of employers in career fields that ranged from security to finance. As the global economy continues to struggle, the national unemployment rate stands at 8.1 percent. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
I know that the job market is tough: the summer of 2015 was not an easy one for me as I applied for well over 100 jobs within a couple of months. A lot of sweat and tears were shed before I was able to say I was employed once again.
When I look at my long-term goals, my current position has nothing to do with them. Really, the biggest benefit has been financial. I’m no longer telling my friends “no” when a weekend adventure comes up or struggling to put gas in my car to drop off even more resumes. I can plan vacations and actually be able to afford the hotel stays. It has given me the ability to spend a little more on myself to look and feel better (as mentioned in multiple previous posts).
But money isn’t everything. If I sit at work, unfulfilled and sad, who cares about my 401k plan? Going home, wondering what I did at work for eight hours that was meaningful to me and having no appropriate answers is daunting.
This snow day has really made me think. Thinking about how I’m often finding myself feeling trapped, in more ways than one.
Now that I have some additional guidance on two different fonts, it’s time to really focus. I know that happiness is not going to just show up one Tuesday morning. I know that I’m going to have to make sacrifices. But I also know that it will be fully worth it in the end.
Shut up and hit.
Be forewarned, this is going to be a bit of a rant post.
I’ve talked before about how I get annoyed when people hold up class or come in to the room late. If you’re new and need help getting your equipment set or have to sign waivers and such, I understand. I still think you should show up earlier than you think – like I did – for your first day, but I’ll understand.
But when you’ve been here before, at least once that I’ve seen, and you show up to a 60-minute class 25 minutes into the class, you’re disrupting not only those of us that showed up on time or at least close to it, but the trainer as well. That’s when the line is crossed and your antics become disrespectful.
Last week, our class was disrupted when two “students” showed up to class halfway through the session. Not only did they open the door leading from the brightly lit lobby and into the black-lit room, but they stumbled through the dark, as we continued to hit our bags, trying to find two unattended ones to use for the measly 30 minutes they would be there.
So, when I’m already warmed up and you decide to take the bag next to me for your lackluster workout where you barely try to hit the bag and your partner in crime just stands there and dances around, I’m going to have absolutely no problem when I bump in to you because I’m actually paying attention and doing the correct moves being shouted out.
This coming from someone that’s always late – not by hours, but usually by minutes. Tell me to be there at 8:00 and I’ll be there by 8:15, but be prepared to leave around 8:30. Trust me, I’m working on it. But if I know that an hour-long class starts at 7:00, but I can’t get myself together to show up until 7:25 at best, I’m just not going. Not only are you rude, but you’re not even getting your money’s worth… Tell my again why you’re even here?
I wouldn’t complain about this nearly as much if I didn’t know the trainer and everyone else in the room wasn’t just as annoyed. I honestly wanted our trainer to use his annoyance to push us even harder. The two girls in front of me were at their first class. I’m not kidding when I say one kept her feet flat on the floor, barely pawing at the bag. When the trainer came by, she didn’t even attempt to try harder. They both complained about abdominal work and would not shut up the whole 60 minutes. We’re talking homeroom gossip-style talking. They were actually louder than some of the music playing in the room. Again, I didn’t feel sorry when I hit my bag so hard it knocked into the chatterbox in front of me, taking her off guard.
I picked this gym because it’s welcoming of everyone – any shape, size, age, gender or skill level. So I don’t believe in the statement “you don’t belong here” but I also don’t think you should be so disruptive, you take away from other people spending their time and money to be here.
I’ve been doing better: my confidence is so much higher than it was in my first class, even my first week. I haven’t thought about quitting during a class in weeks. I train harder than I thought I would be at this point, adding at-home workouts from what I’ve learned at the gym. I’m doing it in all natural ways and feeling so much better about myself.
I guess if I take away anything from last week’s class it’s that the annoying chatters and the half-assers irritated the other girls and I enough to really follow through on our hits. We’ll see how that drives me tonight.
Huddles & Heels: Thoughts & Ramblings of a Sports & Social Media Junkie 